Technicalities
February 20, 2001

*) My Feminine Side

Recently I've been wondering something.  I have a question for those of
you outside of the Tech department: do any of you really understand
stress?  Has anyone had an experience like the one Peter Gluck and I
have had for the past week or so?

You probably have heard by now that the the Boyds B2B site is up.
(Congrats are due to Peter, Eli Yasnyi, and the rest of the Boyds folks
on team Rice.)  You might not know that Peter and I were here after
midnight on the day before it was launched, or that I spent the entire
night here the next day getting the thing installed.  The point here is
not to brag - who me, show off? - but to invite you to ponder an
existential puzzle.

There are women I've met who've told me that no man can really
understand the bond between a woman and her child, because we don't have
to suffer to bring one into the world.  (My mother would use that sort
of line on me, but usually it was because she wanted me to make my bed
or do the dishes or something.)   Anyway, I sort of feel the same way
about web sites.  Outside of the tech department, who gets to lose sleep
for the week before the site is launched, desperately wondering whether
the thing is going to work?  Aside from the techies, who is there
repairing problems in the code in the middle of the night in order to
give birth to a functional system? And who will be there next week,
watching and tending to the newborn, wondering if it is going to fall
over when people really start to hit it (an act made more stressful
because Boyds sent invitations to their _entire_ base of 20000
retailers, asking them all to try the site at once)?

In this business, success has many fathers; the mothers are in the Tech
Department.

*) It's tough being a Mom

The Boyds launch has taken its toll on Peter, who has taken to wearing
his leather pants.

*) And Speaking of Eli

The seating whirlwind has moved Eli down next to James McHugh.  James -
having the impressionable young mind that he does - has decided to
convert to judiasm.  His Yiddish is rapidly improving, and he has taken
to using words that would have made my grandmother blanche. All this is
fine - and it's his own business after all - but he has taken to
harrassing those around him by playing nonstop a certain horrible midi
file
(
http://intranet.agency.com/AgencyKR/Doc/0/JVSHNM1V0VAH3EAN0188NO8L64/havanag2.mid
)
which he downloaded from the net.

Eli assures me that James is not yet creating a hostile work
environment, but I've decided to intervene nevertheless. Troublemaker
that I am - and knowing that a balance of terror is the secret to stable
international relations - I have been sending both sides music with
which to irritate the other.  And I'm just the guy to do it: my
collection of musical antiquities is loaded with stuff by both Scots
(
http://intranet.agency.com/AgencyKR/Doc/0/BS61PM1V0VAH3EAN0188NO8L64/gloamin.snd
)
and Jews
(
http://intranet.agency.com/AgencyKR/Doc/0/CKBHPM1V0VAH3EAN0188NO8L64/dertantz.snd
)
- both groups having played a more visible role in our natural culture a
century ago than they do today.

Not that Traff, who sits next to both of them - and who has converted to
neither culture - is thanking me yet.  Traff just can't wait until the
next set of moves.

*) Maritz

Just a brief note of encouragement for the Maritz team.  They're heading
into the home stretch, and, hopefully, wrapping things up to get the
site out the door.  Those of you who are privileged enough to have one
of the patrician seats on 13 or 14 should keep in mind those on 10 who
are slaving away long hours in obscurity trying to bring this one to a
close.

*) Mea Culpa

When I mentioned all the new folks who joined the tech department during
my absence I left one out: Ken Kringdon, who is a transplant from the
Boston office.  Ken can consider this a typical rude welcome to New
York.

*) ... and better than ever

Cathy O'Sullivan's back.  Turns out that her vacation was in India.
Nothing much to worry about.

*) I'm SUCH a good boy

Lest you think that I never play by the rules: last week I finally got
all my reviews done - thus earning the distinction of being the last
person in the Tech Department to do so.  (I still need to find some more
people for Jamil to report to, but that doesn't count.)

I also got my hours in on time, if you're keeping track.