Subject: Technicalities Resent-From: staff.newyork@agency.com Date: Mon, 17 Apr 2000 09:32:53 -0400 From: "Mitch Golden" To: nystaff@agency.com Technicalities Apr 17, 2000 *) Good Karma The last issue of Technicalities brought fewer than the usual number of complaints. I can't explain it really - maybe it was the imminence of the warm spring weather. Ritesh went around the office doing his air guitar. My good friends in The People Organization gave me no problems whatsoever about the dangerous subjects I mentioned. Even James McHugh was satisfied that his Scottish heritage was adequately advertised. (In the bar downstairs later that week he did point out that I failed to tell everyone about his good looks. Actually he put it somewhat more crudely than that, but I can't repeat his precise suggestion here. There's a limit to what even I expect to be able to get away with.) Flush with my success, I thought that perhaps the warm feelings would carry me over for a longer than usual time, and that I'd be able to actually spend a weekend without writing up one of these. Hey folks, I had my taxes to do. No such luck. Late last week I started to get the usual comments: "Hey Mitch, what's up with Technicalities?" So here I go again. Perhaps I can scare people off this way: have you noticed what happened to the stock market since I've been writing these? *) Speaking Of The Stock Market I know that this has nothing to do with the Tech Dept, but I thought it should be included here anyway. Recently I got a spam e-mail message, which I reproduce here in its entirety: -- Make Money without doing anything!!! Guaranteed money making program We do ALL of the work you collect the check. $400.00 dollar initial investment, you will make your investment back within 2-3 weeks and collect checks for $500.00 to $10,000.00 every month. No Selling, No Hassles, No Headaches!!! -- Anyone interested in participating in this opportunity should get me a check for $400 payable to CASH, and I'll be sure to pass it on to the address mentioned in the e-mail. *) In The Tech Dept, We Foul Up With Flair Last time I told you about our sending Kristjan Varnik to the UK. This we did. The only problem was this: we didn't get him the right visa. So, when he showed up in London, it was shades of Midnight Express: they hung him from his ankles and beat him with rubber hoses. Fortunately, the drugs were in a suitcase he left with Traff in the office, and the authorities eventually remanded him back to the custody of British Airways, and unceremoneously flew him back to JFK. With this ignominy ended his stint on the British Airways account. Unfortunately, we didn't have anything immediate that used his Java skills, so Kristjan pretty quickly found another opportunity. I am quite happy to say that we parted on very good terms, and we all wish him the very best of luck. At least we tried. *) More Movement Last week, something occurred to one of our Senior Tech Directors. Sundar Ramaswami thought to himself: "Did I move halfway around the world to work for someone named Patel?!" Thus: Sundar is now working out of the Woodbridge office. For him this arrangement has the added benefit of being about an hour and 15 minutes less commute. Expect to keep seeing him around NY as well, since he is still working for The Bank. *) I Get All The Amusing Situations The Arthur D Little project is not one of our biggest. It has, nonetheless, a really great team, of which I am proud to say I am a member. All of us were fascinated by a factoid we found in some of their promotional literature: In 1996, Arthur D Little developed a birth control method approved by both the Catholic and Muslim faiths. Currently, I have a strictly academic interest in what this technology could be - though if a Catholic or Muslim woman takes a cotton to my Gucci loafers perhaps that will change - but there were others who were more immediately interested. How should I put this? Let me just say that it's good thing that no one from The People Organization is on the adl@agency.com alias. *) Stay Tuned I think I'll end this Technicalities with that device from the X Files: showing scenes from next week's episode. Expect it to be great, since there are big things on tap for the immediate future: **) There's a big Colgate launch this week. **) We'll find out what's going on with the Tokko project. **) Lots of people will be starting with us in the Tech Dept. (Despite the rumors, breathing is a necessary but not sufficient condition for getting hired.) I am actually very excited about some of the people who are about to join us, but you all will have to wait to hear about them.