Subject: Technicalities Resent-From: staff.newyork@agency.com Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2000 00:05:09 -0500 From: "Mitch Golden" To: nystaff@agency.com Technicalities Feb 15, 2000 *) Getting in trouble. Someone from The People Organization will doubtless come after me for writing this. Even if they don't, our lawyers will come down on me like a ton of bricks if anyone circulates this outside the company (please don't). But hell, you only live once. Besides, as with every installment of Technicalities, I swear I'm not making this up. I spend a certain amount of time as a tourist in my own life. You know, a sort of bemused detachment and a wondering, how could I possibly be _here_, of all places? I think that it's because there is so much absurdity and cognitive dissonance in the trajectory I have taken. You have to understand that five years ago I was mostly concerned with Electroweak Symmetry Breaking and Asymptotic Freedom, Bose-Einstein Condensation and Walking Technicolor. Now I spend my days in meetings pondering the meaning of "brand". Last week a large group of our Gucci clients were in town for a huge brainstorm. This was led by Marysia Woroniecka and Sean MacDonald. They were really _on_, believe you me. I am no stranger to public speaking, but even I was getting tired watching Marysia go. She was scrawling all over papers that covered all the walls, and the ideas were flying. My favorite part was when George Eid was leading the discussion: "The Gucci brand is a _promise_", exhorted George. "What is that promise?" Members of the visiting Gucci client team called out the ideas: "You will be pampered." "You will feel quality." "You will sense luxury." And the list went on. Finally, someone in the room really nailed The Promise Of The Gucci Brand: "You will get laid!" Such clarity of formulation! Such simplicity of statement! Everyone vigorously nodded in assent. So five years ago I was mostly concerned with Electroweak Symmetry Breaking and Asymptotic Freedom, Bose-Einstein Condensation and Walking Technicolor. Now I'm building a database that will GET YOU LAID. *) An Homage Tim Appnel suggested this item, and I have to say he's pretty bang on. As most of you know, Charles Schulz, the author of Peanuts, died this past weekend. I think that most of the members of the tech dept grew up as disdained outcasts, like Charlie Brown. Sure, the creative types (read Schroeder here) were well adjusted and well liked. They were good at sports. They had the members of the opposite sex (viz. Lucy) falling all over them. We could barely get anyone to talk to us. But that was in the 50s and 60s, when Schulz came up with Peanuts. In the 90s and 00s - hey, it's the geeks who rule the world. What Schulz never drew was what happened later in the characters' lives. Schroeder works on Madison Ave writing jingles for the Miller Beer account, but Charlie Brown is the CTO of an online banking startup - with vested options. So, a special homage to Mr. Schulz, who showed the men and women of the tech dept the way. *) My vacation OK, so the Gucci site is launched, and Boyds has been up for weeks. Time for me to take some time off. I haven't done this for a while. You see, I hold to the notion of conservation of stress. You know how it is. The week before you go away, you work like mad to make sure everything gets done. When you come back, you get absolutely buried with accumulated issues. So really, all that usually happens during a vacation is you push the stress to either side. The physical law is: total stress is conserved. If stress can never be removed, there has to be another way. My secret has been to give the stress to someone else. How about Ritesh? Hey, there's an idea. So, if any of you have any problems with an account: talk to Ritesh. If you have an issue with the reorg: talk to Ritesh. You want to discuss your salary or your stock options or your career or your bonus, I say again: talk to Ritesh. His e-mail is rpatel@agency.com. I'll be in California.